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Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Casting seeds in tears

Pat led us in prayer this morning, from Psalm 126: Those who sow in tears shall reap in joy . . . using a song sent by Heather:

Those who walk in fields to sow
Casting their seed in tears,
Will one day tread those same long rows
Amazed by what’s appeared.

Seeds, falling, watered by tears. This gives the tears meaning, and even hope, that what we mourn will be transformed, that the mourning itself is part of the transformation.

Six weeks ago I stood on the Paediatric ward to welcome our visitors from the USA, but I could hardly talk to them, because Birungi Suizen lay wasted, bleeding, starving, pitiful. Tears flowed. Today I was truly amazed by what has appeared: he took steps on his own, just a few, but real steps. He eats eagerly now, laughs, cries with passion, jives a bit to a cellphone ringtone, resists the grabs of his baby brother. His transformation has been one of the least likely ones I’ve ever witnessed. I’m glad to have tread that row long enough to see the joy.

Sometimes the tears are not so selfless, just tears of weariness and frustration. Having four preteen/teens can be a storm of hormones, a cacophony of conflicts as they collide in a small house. And their heart issues become more complicated. When Jack and Julia appeared in their new uniforms, they were met at their classroom building by a large group of students on the steps who laughed at them. And while some kids can shrug that off as just the pettiness of the group, the tendency of a small isolated culture to protect themselves from difference . . . It is very hard on Jack who is already much younger than anyone else, who can’t interact on the sports field like my other three kids because of his running-induced heel injury, who is the youngest and more sensitive to acceptance and approval, whose solid frame has become even more strikingly large with his lack of exercise and more likely to draw out malicious teasing. So when he says “I like living here and I don’t care if people laugh at me on the road, but I just want to go to a school where I can be part of the group too . . .” well, that is hard to take. Praying for faith that those tears (his and mine) will bear something of valuable beauty in his life some day.


claire said...

I'm praying for the kids' hearts each day. As well as for yours.

All my love,

Anonymous said...

Praise God for Birungi's recovery! And many prayers for your children. All of you are so inspiring.

Anonymous said...

We are praying for Jack!

Anonymous said...

Praise God for the change in Birungi!!! Praying for your kids..can't even imagine. Praying so hard for Jack, and for you, as parents to deal with this.

Anonymous said...

i am currently studying my way to (hopefully) medical school, and on days where i lose motivation, i come have a look at your blog. birungi's progress is an inspiration!

praying for your kids. i know what it feels like! (i was an mk in uganda for 13 years)

Cindy Nore said...

All of your kids, especially Jack, are in my prayers. I'm asking God to give you as parents the strength, wisdom, and peace to know how to help your kids through rough times, and praying that your children would be covered with so much prayer that they would feel an umbrella of protection over them wherever they go and whatever happens in their days.

Anonymous said...

This blog is like a daily devotional for me. It brings me out of my material world into spiritual reality. It reminds me of the things that are really important. Thank you. I am praying for your family and ministry.