Update #8: 10Sep 0945pm EDT

Friday evening.

Jennifer moved from bed to chair and back twice today.  To see her sitting in a chair feels like miraculous progress.  This afternoon we came in to her room after we grabbed a bite to eat in the hospital cafeteria and found her sitting with a styrofoam cup of coffee sitting on the tray in front of her.  

“Where’d you get that,” I said.  

“I asked for it.  They said what would it take to get you up and moving out of bed…I said a cup of coffee,” she said (in a raspy whisper).

Precious.

We have repeatedly recounted the events of the week and it is slowly beginning to stick.  She’s comprehending that we have missed our Area Director Meetings (“That’s the whole reason we came to America.  Aren’t you calling in everyday or something?”).

The neurologist came by to talk to us and examine her again this afternoon.  He did an extensive neuro exam and the only abnormality he found was a slight discoordination of her fine hand movements (and, of course, the right eye movement problems).  He summarized the MRI results for us (mild sub-arachnoid hemorrhage, mild subdural, mild diffuse axonal injury in the right parietal lobe) which is otherwise distilled down to  the blanket diagnosis of Traumatic Brain Injury (TBI).  He said, the most common long term sequelae are: headaches, insomnia, and balance difficulties.  He offered to have her follow-up in the WVU Neuroscience TBI Cohort Clinic.

From one update to the next, I can see the objective progress, but when she says, “Are you still filming the Girl Scouts?” it can be jarring.  And discouraging.  Her brain is still injured and it still hurts to hear the evidence of the injury impacting her ability to think and speak.

On our Bundibugyo Team, we have a family who we recruited for a long period of time.  They agonized whether they should take the risk of uprooting from a great job, community and church and come to Uganda.  And at some point we shared with them a message we heard at Julia’s church (Blacknall Pres) from Alan Poole as she graduated from  Duke.  He said, “Graduates, what you need now is Courage Not Clarity.” I’ve shared this with other potential missionaries and also most recently with our Bundibugyo Summer Interns. 

Ouch.  Yup, because what I want right now is CLARITY.  I want to know THE PLAN!  I want to know how this turns out.  Does Jennifer fully recover? Her balance, her strength, her cognitive brilliance, her ability to type, to write for this blog (!), to see without double vision…?  Do we return to Uganda?  

OK, so surrender the Clarity.  

What about Courage? 

Websters says this:  it is the ability to do something that frightens one; strength in the face of grief or pain. 

Facing fear, grief, or pain (easier said than done). 

Joshua 1:9 says Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous.  Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you whereever you go.

How do we face fear or grief?  With the knowledge that God is with us—whereever we are, in whatever circumstance. 

Lord, our eyes are on you