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Wednesday, October 14, 2009

grief

Woke up this morning glad to be home--4:45 am yesterday we were in the Mayfield Guest house in Nairobi, by 9 we had landed in Entebbe and except for having to send Julia through a window in the un-manned guard kiosk to get our keys and rescue our truck from the long-term airport parking, the trip was remarkably smooth.   A lot easier when you aren't sick!  We wove through traffic to the Capital Shopper's Delight grocery, stocked up as best we could in a short time on food for the next month or so, met up with Sarah and Ashley, and drove back to Bundi before 7 pm:  14 hours door to door, not bad across two countries!  We were welcomed by a lovely candlelight dinner hosted by the single men on our team, a balm which soothed the travel-weary day, and emphasized the fellowship of arrival over the loss of departure.

But also woke up this morning to grief, the delayed gut-punch of being a family of four not six.  As I lay in the dark, praying for the boys, I knew the tension of two truths:  they are in the best place for them right now, right where God has placed them . . . but it is a grief and sacrifice and sadness for us too.  God's path does not skirt death's shadows, and after the pastures of the weekend we're back in the valley, walking on.  And as I prayed, it hit me that our parents are in the exact same place.  The parents of all missionaries.  Holding that tension that their kids are where God wants them, but that they bear the grief of that separation.  Six more weeks feels long and painful, but my mom has waited over 16 years . .  The Gospel involves sacrifice, it is a story of one person's death bringing life to others.  This is our little taste of it, for today, the real grief of separation in spite of the good it brings.

5 comments:

Debbie said...

I think God may have had you write this message for me. Bethany is so excited about getting back to Africa, and I am feeling the same grief and joy as you expressed. Blessings to you all.

Tricia said...

Praying for you, all those that you love, and all those that love you. Thank you for writing this persepctive. God bless.

Heather Pike Agnello said...

Amen.

Cindy Nore said...

So glad you are back in Bundi safe and sound. I am praying daily for your family and just today received your newsletter that outlines so clearly your prayer needs - thanks for sharing those, and I will be praying for each of your five requests one day of the week.

I have found great encouragement from your blog for so long now, and today I was particularly touched and encouraged by your newsletter. Your exposition on the truths of Isaiah 43 built on the many ways God has used that chapter to help me press on in the wake of Jessica's death. You give me hope, strength, and perspective about pressing on for Kingdom purposes. God bless - Cindy

Laurie said...

Amen