This goes out to . . .

All our teams in Africa, but in a special way to the Massos, getting on the plane today to return to Sudan, and Scott Will, living in Mundri team-less but embraced by the people.  John C, taking his ophthalmology boards today, and his family whom he left in Kenya. Kimberly T, who plugs away in an under-equipped clinic serving refugees.  Martha and George M, taking on interns and a church team and kids-home-for-summer and leading all of those into pioneering ministry situations.  Jessica, figuring out how to live in Bundi, and Anna pitching in to cover for unexpected personnel lost to sickness.  And most of all the Johnsons, who have now reached the 1-year mark of team leadership in a very tough place and are realizing what a toll it has taken.  

And to me, too, at the end of a pretty stressful week.  Almost had a baby die in my hands because in the hour it took to get an xray I didn't think of a tension pneumothorax as he turned bluer and bluer and his pulses faded (I had called in the chaplain and told the mom he was dying from his congenital heart disease, which may still happen, but when I finally got the xray and threw it up on the light box I was so glad to be wrong).  Looking back on our life in Bundi more this week too, and feeling the inadequacies of all we did and didn't do.  Evaluated a child for potential sexual abuse, which is always a heavy weight, and heard of another case in the hospital.  

So here is a meditation from the highly recommended Jesus Lives by Sarah Young.  She writes as if Jesus is talking to you.

My power flows most freely into weak ones aware of their need for Me.  So take heart:  Though the journey you're on is one of faltering steps, such steps of dependence are links to My Presence.

Today you feel the journey more than usual.  It's a challenge to take the net step--and all too easy to be aware of you neediness.  Sometimes you get discouraged bout your ongoing weaknesses.  You know that dependence on Me brings spiritual blessings, yet at times you feel trapped by your limitations.  Only the knowledge that I am with you keeps you out of the pit of despair.  

Awareness of your need for Me is what creates a strong connection to My Presence.  My Power flows into you continually:  It gives you strength to take the next step, strength to ressit discouragement and despair, strength to know Me in intimate dependence.  Only My Power can enable you to live abundantly in the midst of your limitations.  Your day-to-day perseverance, in dependence on Me, is every bit as supernatural as an outright miracle.  So don't think that your difficulties signify lack of faith or lack of blessing.  They are means to help you stay on the path I have chosen for you.

Because you are My beloved child, I choose to bless you, but I bless you in ways that are unique to your needs and My design for you.  Though the way before you may be steep and rocky, it is nonetheless the path of Life.  It is where you encounter My luminous Presence--radiating Peace that transcends all understanding.

May we all be people who find the inexplicable, miraculous peace of persevering when when we have nothing left to give.