Re-entry, again

I never lived at Kijabe with Luke.  So when we said goodbye to him in college and moved here, departure was a sorrow, but arrival did not bowl me over in poignant memories.  I suppose that's why this morning broadsided me, going to worship at RVA where Caleb played guitar a few times and sat with us every Sunday, where the people are familiar and connected to him.  Sometimes life seems like a series of surprises of grief-waves, that one has to bob to the surface of and hold onto the raft, gulping air until the next crash.  Good to be home, yes, but this particular home points out absence as well as presence.  

And this particular home is a mess.  I'm not a good housekeeper, I admit it.  Half my family is pretty messy as well.  A veritable herd of people have slept/eaten/hung out here over the last couple of months.  It's raining and muddy.  We have a puppy who has to be kept largely indoors. There are bugs and sticks and spattered sauces and dusty corners. Junk accumulates.  We brought back four suitcases FULL of it.  None of this bodes well for visual peace or healthy cleanliness.  And it's all ten times more noticeable when coming from my mom's.  

So in the midst of missing Caleb and Luke, and of despairing over dirt and disorder, it was God's good plan to plop a buoyant cushion of wonderful WHM friends here to soften the fall.  Karen spent the weekend.  Bethany has moved here for the term, and Anna for at least a year.   Plus I saw my friend and colleague Mardi.  Instead of merely unpacking, I had multiple good friends to share with, to hear, to debrief.  

Transitions are just tough.  Tomorrow will be a doozy of a day.  Will be glad when this week is in the past.  But given everything else in life, I'm super thankful for Karen, Bethany, Anna, and Mardi, and many others I greeted at church, even if their kind words made me cry.