In America this month, it’s difficult to miss the strident
panic over bathroom rules. I’m not sure
most of us realized there were laws, or who enforces them, until the powerful
lobby of political correctness decided to make this a litmus test of
civilization, and then North Carolina threw down the gauntlet. At first I really couldn’t understand the
issue, since a) transgender people are a small minority and b) that minority
may be even LESS likely to assault a stranger in a bathroom than the rest of
the world, but at least not more so.
Reading both sides charitably, what I conclude is that those
who proposed that individuals choose the bathroom where they feel most
comfortable wanted to make the world slightly less hostile for people whose
spirits and minds are at odds with their bodies. On the other hand, those who want laws based
on anatomy at birth are not so much worried about the handful of
gender-dysphoric types the whole brouhaha is meant to protect, but they believe
that sexual predator men will jump on the opportunity to pose as transgender
XY-but-feel-females and stalk women’s bathrooms to peep at girls, or much worse.
In essence, both sides have honest and potentially positive
points. This world contains a lot of
lines that categorize and exclude, which a shocking verse in Galatians promises
that the Gospel erases. At the very
beginning, in a surprising story, Phillip was sent to the Ethiopian eunuch, to
invite (him) into the Kingdom. We are told
to be sensitive to those who are on the margins; to lay down our own rights
when someone is offended. Good
principles. We are also empowered to
protect vulnerable girls and boys from predators. We should not fear the scorn of being out of
step with our culture when our culture normalizes pedophilia, for instance.
But honestly, this entire issue is a smoke-and-mirrors
distraction from real problems, and it’s time for someone to say that the
emperor is naked.
First, I’ve been going to women’s restrooms for half a
century, and I can’t recall a single time that I’ve seen more of a woman’s
genitals or breasts in a bathroom than on the beach or for that matter on the
street. Women’s bathrooms have stalls or
doors with locks. We generally like a
bit of privacy. Yes, an evil person
could choose to plan an assault in a bathroom, but that was possible before and
it will be possible no matter what is on paper.
Second, the fact is, that this is a super first-world-problem. Much more harm comes from the fact that a
majority of women in the world don’t have any sanitation, than from the labels
on American bathroom doors. Billions of
people go through life with little privacy or cleanliness. Let’s worry more about that. Third, no amount of friendly labeling will
change the brokenness of sexual identity.
Because sex has been a central aspect of our humanity, sex has been a
central battleground of the Evil one attacking us. Fourth, our communal humanity demands a
constant negotiation between rights and protections. As a 50-something female, frankly, I can feel
threatened/sad/inadequate when I face my own body dysphorias. To what degree we protect every person from
feeling excluded needs sane discussion not strident paranoia. Yes society needs to protect the vulnerable,
but our culture has extended the obsession with safety to the kind of illogical
rejection of reality that makes us unable to function. But all of these points are minor.
HERE IS THE REAL POINT.
Bathrooms aren’t the battleground.
Pornography is. Instead of
fighting each other, let’s turn our attention to the real problem. There is an industry stealing the souls of
our children and making billions of dollars doing so. Research is emerging that our boys and girls
are exposed to a barrage of images and misinformation that turns sex into a
violent conquest, denigrates women’s bodies, and divorces true giving, loving
relationships from physical pleasure.
Pornography and drugs are public health problems as much as they are
moral issues, they are tangles of bad choices, physiologic dependence, a
massive economic pressures. Let’s get up
in arms about human trafficking, and about the relentless effort online to suck
children into dangerous habits. Let’s
question the money that enriches people whose success comes at the expense of
this generation.
Because they may be the very people who are fanning the
flames of the bathroom debacle, to distract us from the real issue.
2 comments:
Hi. A friend forwarded your post to me. Thank you so much for your thoughtful words and perspective. I could not agree more that the biggest issue is pornography.
One word about the "bathroom debate" though. My understanding is that in some states the legalizing of transgender use of single sex facilities extends to prisons and shelters. In other words, a man calling himself transgender but with penis intact can say he wants to be put in a women's prison and can also demand to stay at a women's shelter. This strikes me as highly dangerous for the vulnerable women in prisons and in shelters. Since transgender surgery is not required, any predatory man could get access to women in very vulnerable positions. Our American prisons are already so dangerous and so inhumane, and now incarcerated women may face a serious, new threat.
In response to laurag8ch "word" about the bathroom debate, I have to say that I have known men, even some unseemly men, and more than one transgender. No man intent on sexual relations would go to the great pains these transgenders do to look, act, walk, and talk like a woman. A man trying to pass as a woman simply for sex will look like a man in a dress and will fool no one. They won't know how to walk, hold themselves or even talk in any way sounding like women do. We, as women in society, are at risk and vulnerable most of the time that we're not at home, church, or other safe spaces. I am far safer with a transgender than with many of the men I have met. What Ms. Laura suggests just isn't going to happen.
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