The Paradox of Giving

In church this morning the first reading was from 2 Cor 9:  

But this I say:  He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully.  So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. . . . Now may He who supplies seed to the sower, and bread for food, supply and multiply the seed you have own and increase the fruits of your righteousness . . .

The pastor is doing a series on giving, and we were meant to hear these words as we give up the precious possession of an intact family, of daily interaction with our son.  It struck me that "seed" often refers to progeny in the Bible, as in "Abraham's seed".  And like Abraham, we sometimes are called to offer that seed, to throw it far not knowing what will happen.  When Jonah died we were drawn to the John 12 passage about the seed going into the ground and bearing fruit, which we are seeing already from his life and death.  In this passage the focus is more on the one who sows, promising that abundance will flow from giving away.  The paradox:   filling coming from emptying; life coming from deaths literal and figurative; good flowing from sorrow; the sowers going forth in tears and returning in joy (Psalm 126).

Well, I haven't been the most cheerful giver this week, though I know God understands.  I was also thinking during the service that the passage leaves much to the individual, to decide what is to be given.  I do not believe God ever called us to send our kids to boarding school before now.  What He asks of one family He may not ask of another.  I was praying with another missionary recently and she commented that we missionaries sometimes assume that God calls us to give up dreams that may be good, that we over-sacrifice.  It would be easy to err in either direction:  denying ourselves good things when the sacrifice merely makes us feel self-righteous; or claiming good things that we should lay aside for better.  No easy formulas dictate where the balance lies for any person or family, it is a walk by faith, a daily laying down of life, a daily sowing of the seed and waiting for the harvest.