home, after a very long day at the hospital and rain of Biblical
proportions turning the road into a river. I stopped on the way back
to check up on our student Ivan .. . reality check, the entire
compound where he lives was under water. No wonder the ward is
crammed with babies with diarrhea, I shudder to think of what is
swirling in the muddy pools that cover most of the ground. Dr. Louis
reported for his first official day of duty, three months into his six
month contract. For a district which should be desperate for doctors,
our administration has made it incredibly difficult and tedious for
this man to move into the doctor's house . . . he actually brought his
three other doctor friends to team pizza last night, along with our
nutrition extensionist . . . perhaps we are using food to lure these
bright young men to stay, but if it works it's worth it. A mission
worker who has AIDS made a suicide attempt last night, taking a bottle
of anti-retroviral pills. The pressure of ostracism and anxiety weigh
heavily on infected people, particularly single women I'm afraid.
Meanwhile Scott led about 25 medical staff this morning in a review of
our prevention-of-mother-to-child transmission efforts, a good time to
ask ourselves why our health center's performance has slipped (a few
years ago we managed to test more than 99% of pregnant women, now it's
about 75%). He introduced the new T-shirts he designed, with the
Kwejuna Project logo (THANKS FRAN ALLEN, it is still serving us!) on
the front and a Crested Crane on the back with the message: One Life,
One Wife. That got a lot of reaction, joy from the women, and teasing
of polygamous staff, and some disgruntled sighs from the men. Will be
interesting to see who wears it!
So those are the external events of the day: rain and diarrhea and
sick babies and spinal taps, teaching and laughing and exhorting and
visiting, listening and messaging and planning and cooking.
Internally, the teaching from Skip continues to sink into our hearts:
honesty, humility, helplessness. Learning to live our real story,
unhidden, not a version which we wished were true. Learning our
limits as human beings in the hands of an unlimited God. A great
phrase: resigning as general manager of the universe. I am
personally processing how to be a competent doctor who strives for
accurate and effective diagnosis and treatment .. . while accepting
failure. How to be an agent of change in a fallen world . . .while
accepting the impossibility of changing much. How to be a responsible
team leader . . . who does not try to control my team mates' lives.
How to alleve the suffering of children, even my own . . . while
accepting that some suffering is an integral part of our cross-walk
path with Jesus. Which brings me back to Chesterton and the paradox:
not a compromise, but a grasping of two good extremes, a living out of
incarnational truths: competence and failure, work and rest,
responsibility and freedom, power and sacrifice, weakness and strength.
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