But all this beauty comes at a cost, an excruciating one, as is wont to happen down here on earth. The closer we come to truth, the more deeply the loss of such beauty cuts. One of those paradoxes that plague us in this life. So there are probably few high school graduations that are followed by as sincere and devastating a period of mourning. The very bonds which made the school experience great also make the departure very, very hard. There were many difficult goodbyes, in the parking lot, by the buses, back in Nairobi at the mission guest houses, as people left in taxis for the airport. Letters exchanged. Memories recited, one more time. Many kids leaving high school would probably be heading to college with a quorum of their acquaintances. Many would have a stable community to return to, the chance of running into old friends on a weekend or holiday. Instead these graduates come from remote regions, have parents in many countries, and are going to schools all over the world for university (Japan, Korea, Holland, Australia, Germany...). The goodbyes here seem more final.
And on graduation day, I saw that the pain of moving on is not just related to a good school, or good friends. Because the RVA high school graduates are not just leaving their school and teachers and friends, they are leaving their families and homes. They are leaving Africa. The choir sang "God bless the rains down in Africa" which led at least one of them, and many of us listening, to tears. It is sort of a cheesy 80's song, until you hear it sung by 30 or 40 kids who LOVE AFRICA and are within 12 hours of stepping onto airplanes to leave the very soil on which they have grown their whole lives, some departing for years, some forever. There is something about this place with all its crazy life and raw landscape and glaring need and injustice and hospitality and vastness that draws out the heart.
So graduation day was beautiful and painful all at the same time. We are extremely grateful to God, to the people who encouraged and advised us to send Luke, to dorm parents and coaches, classroom teachers and administrators. We are grateful that our son could learn, and learn to love to learn. Could take AP classes in the middle of Africa, could play varsity soccer and sing and make pottery, could be challenged spiritually and intellectually. Could be launched from a solid foundation to the halls of Yale. But in that thankfulness we also feel his sorrow as he goes.
Life, excruciatingly beautiful.
3 comments:
I remember RVA graduation so well and you're so right about all the emotions involved in graduating, and then leaving "your world" never to be able to go back to the same friends, family, etc. We are having a 30 year class reunion this summer, so there are moments of reconnection and celebration of all that God continues to do.
Thanks for sharing your lives with all of us!
Praying for you all as you grieve and transition. Achingly painful, not well understood by most of us living here in America, this path you are on is holy ground where I know that He will meet you.
Sally Ward
Your post brings tears to my eyes and memories that are so raw. I will be praying for Luke in this transition. It is not an easy one! But as I look back and think of where I am at now, I never thought as I was leaving Africa that I would ever be content in America. On graduation day I thought I was leaving my heart in Africa. But now I know that it is not so much the places I have been or will go that hold my heart but the people that I share my life with. And when those people are leaving too it is a different place when you return. It is a hard transition but as time goes by it gets better and better. And like I said its better than I ever thought it would be and I am not in Africa. My advice to Luke is to dive into friendships with people at Yale, don't hold back. I did and it took me a few years to really jump in and make great friends. I thought I had all the friends I ever wanted and I tried desperately to hold onto them but for most the distance was too much. Of course there are a few that I am still fast friends with but I wish I had put myself out there and been more vulnerable with the people I met.
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