"I am seeing more and more that we begin to learn what it is to walk by faith when we learn to spread out all that is against us; all our physical weakness, loss of mental power, spiritual inability--all that is against us inwardly and outwardly--as sails to the wind and expect them to be vehicles for the power of Christ to rest upon us. It is so simple and self-evident--but so long in the learning." ( Lilias Trotter, missionary to Algeria. A Blossom in the Desert.)
This leaving process has been a journey into weakness. We are exhausted. And treading territory we do not know. We're irritable and discouraged a lot. We know we are letting a lot of people down. Scott found a file that included the proposal we wrote up in 1992 prior to coming, when our vision was to have trained a thousand community health workers and ten doctors within 20 years. Reality has not quite matched our dreams, and much of that feels like our failure as we pack up.
But Rose Marie's quote from Lilias Trotter boldly states that all that weakness, physical (another trunk to lift!), mental (decisions, decisions) and spiritual (sadness and mistakes) forms a huge billowing sail, which we raise and spread to catch the wind of the Spirit. Perhaps God is about to blow into this place in gale force. Or into us.
So, sails to the wind, we display all our messiness, and hope.